Top 5 Challenges Of Living Abroad and How to Overcome Them
In my work with expat clients, I’ve had the privilege of delving deep into the unique challenges faced by women navigating life across borders. In this blog post, I’ll explore the five top challenges of living abroad and tips for how to overcome them:
1. Conquering Loneliness & Building a Support System
One of the biggest challenges of living abroad is experiencing loneliness: that deep-seated ache for belonging is a common thread among expats. In my coaching practice, I’ve seen clients struggle with feelings of isolation, feeling different, and not measuring up, all of which perpetuated the sensation that they were alone.
For many, a fear of being left out or rejected lurks beneath the surface, making it tough to start over in a foreign country.
The antidote to loneliness is connection and it starts with reconnecting with yourself: getting to know yourself profoundly, paying attention to your feelings and thoughts, while accepting and embracing them is the mandatory starting point.
It can be uncomfortable to sit with yourself and your gloomy feelings, I know. It’s also likely that the experience of living abroad has made you aware of these sensations more than anything before, and that distracting yourself from them does not work here anymore.
Although the experience can be painful, it’s also a promising invitation to become your own biggest ally, your own support system, your own safe haven to retreat to. Make your mind a safe space for you to inhabit, by being kind, compassionate and uplifting in your conversations with yourself!
When you do, you will be able to increase your sense of self-worth and belonging from within. This is not only crucial for your own well-being and personal growth, it’s also beneficial for connecting with others.
Find Your Tribe
Whether you identify as an introvert or an extrovert, human beings are social creatures. While I believe it’s important to be able to be by yourself, we’re not meant to be alone.
As expats, we must put in extra effort meet new people, and nurture these connections. Over the next few weeks, challenge yourself to engage with everyone you meet – from colleagues to neighbors, fellow parents at school, or store clerks and waiters.
Take a genuine interest in others and give them the benefit of the doubt, regardless of first impressions. Every interaction is a chance to grow your network, to discover unexpected friendships, and to feel more connected.
Be proactive and schedule meetings, invite people for a coffee, or say “yes” to plans. If this is hard for you and you worry about coming across as ‘intrusive’, try offering your help to someone. There’s always someone in need of your helping hands, ideas, skills or advice, and they’ll be obliged and grateful to you for providing them!
Joining a community is another powerful way to foster a sense of belonging. Whether it’s a local club, expat group, or hobby-based organization, seek out chances to engage with like-minded people. It’s easy to bond over shared experiences and interests, and a great way for you to be part of something bigger. Communities can help bridge cultural gaps and give way to meaningful relationships.
All of this may not happen over night, and loneliness will continue to knock on your door from time to time. Be patient, compassionate and don’t lose faith that it will get better over time! Sometimes all it takes is one profound connection to turn it all around.
You’ll also love my podcast episode How to Cope With Loneliness Abroad – with Phil McAuliffe
2. Navigating Culture Clash with Confidence and Curiosity
Living in a new culture can be both, exhilarating and challenging. On the one hand, it offers the opportunity to broaden your horizons and learn from different perspectives.
On the other hand, it requires navigating unfamiliar customs, norms, and social expectations. Regardless of your first impression, I encourage you to approach each cultural encounter with an open mind and a spirit of curiosity.
Take the time to learn about the history, traditions, and values of your host country, and embrace cultural nuances. Befriending locals and curiously observing their ways has been a game-changer for me! Thanks to them, some things that seemed strange at first or that I upright rejected, actually turned into major insights and new habits for me.
Language is often the key to unlocking deeper cultural understanding. Invest time and effort in learning the local language – you don’t need to necessarily aim for proficiency. Not only will it facilitate communication, it will help you understand the foreign culture on a deeper level, and enable connections with locals.
Over the years, I’ve started to embrace the concept of cultural humility. There will likely always be aspects about another culture that you’ll never fully understand or assimilate to, having grown up in a different environment.
So don’t think you need to like or identify with everything – rather, see your immersion in different cultures as an opportunity to build bridges, as well as to get to know yourself better, and to strengthen your own sense of identity.
I know that being a foreigner in an unfamiliar country can make you very conscious of yourself. It can make you second-guess your choices and moves, stir up your self-image and sense of identity, and compromise your confidence. Don’t worry: this is natural and it happens to everybody!
Instead of being disheartened by it, use this experience to consciously and proactively reflect on who you want to be and what you want to embody in your new country. Redefine what confidence means and looks like for you, as an expat abroad. Set small goals and targets every week, and be proud of your accomplishments.
Don’t forget to celebrate all of the small wins and gains you’ll collect along the way. They’ll continue to reassure you that you got it in you to adapt, grow and thrive abroad!
3. Designing a Meaningful Career Path Abroad
Another challenge of living abroad that many of the women I work with encounter is finding meaningful work or tasks there. The obstacles are manyfold: from work permits, to childcare away from a solid support system, to language barriers, or a lack of opportunity…
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of starting over in a new country, even more so if you’ve left behind a fulfilling career or a thriving professional network.
I recommend starting by reflecting on your long-term vision. Where do you see yourself in the far future? What do you absolutely want to accomplish and experience in this lifetime, and how do you want to be remembered?
Having a vision for your life is like a GPS and North Star, guiding you throughout different expat assignments and relocations, different life stages and tough decisions. If you know where you’re headed, you’ll always be able to find ways of getting there.
Also, clarify your values, passions, and career goals. What brings you joy? What are you passionate about? What special skills, experiences and perspectives do you bring to the table?
If you’re finding it difficult to find work in a company, think outside the box and explore alternative career paths, such as freelancing, remote work, or starting your own business. Embrace the flexibility and autonomy that comes with being an expat, and use it to your advantage.
Networking is key to success in any career, but it’s especially crucial for expat women. Attend networking events, join professional organizations, and connect with like-minded professionals in your field.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for informational interviews or mentorship opportunities. You’ll be surprised at how willing people are to help when you approach them with genuine interest and respect.
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of lifelong learning and personal development. Invest in yourself through online courses, workshops, and certifications that align with your career goals and interests. By continuously expanding your skills and knowledge, you’ll position yourself for success in any professional endeavor!
4. Finding Your Place & Owning Who You Are
As expat women, we leave a piece of our hearts in all the places we’ve lived. But we also gain from each and every experience. When you’ve lived, loved, and embraced different places, people, and ways of life, it feels unnatural to confine yourself to just one way of life, set of friends, or customs.
But I’ve also found, that finding the line between fitting in and adapting to a new country and being true to who you are becomes increasingly blurry. Designing and pursuing your own, authentic and fulfilling path is yet another challenge of living abroad.
Fitting in is overrated. Essentially, it’s playing small – and you were born to stand out and make a difference! I like to say: “You’re not a foreigner, you’re an ambassador of diversity.” How about that for a new perspective during those times when you feel like the perpetual odd one out? Your uniqueness is your strength, and your story is yours to own and celebrate!
As expats, we often focus outward, adapting to new experiences and environments with openness, curiosity, and flexibility. But it’s not the only part of who we are: Equally, it’s important to embrace our own cultural heritage and identity with pride and confidence. Don’t hesitate to speak your native language in public, or talk about your culture and traditions.
Even if you encounter negative stereotypes or hostility, showing up as an ambassador of your heritage (and of diversity) can help break down barriers and foster greater understanding and acceptance. If not, that’s unfortunate for those narrow-minded souls who clearly don’t align with your values and beliefs, and I hope you can avoid their company!
Authenticity is vital – and it’s contagious! When you stand for something, genuinely embrace who you are with all your different facets, and show your true colors, you inspire others and allow them to do the same.
Remember, you are the author of your own story, and you have the power to shape it into an empowered narrative. You have something unique to bring to the table, something that no other person can bring to it in the very same way you do. Always trust in this to be true, even on the days you doubt yourself and your abilities. Your voice matters, and your perspective is invaluable.
Your place is not to be found: it’s to be created and claimed, by owning your story and embracing your uniqueness!
5. Navigating the “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” Dilemma
When you decided to move abroad, you inevitably opened the door to questions like: “Should I stay here?”, “Should I move somewhere else?”, “Should I go back home?” Facing such uncertainty about your future can weigh heavily on you; no matter what you do, these questions always seem to be ruminating in the back of your mind, and can make you feel guilty for whatever scenario you choose.
Feeling torn between the familiar and the unknown is perfectly normal. Navigating this decision requires clarity, intentionality, and self-awareness. Start by reflecting deeply on your values, priorities, and long-term goals.
What truly matters to you in life? What do you envision for your future? And which country, city, or surroundings are more likely to help you flourish in all of these aspects? By delving into these questions with honesty and openness, you can begin to design a path forward that aligns with your most important values, desires and aspirations.
Ultimately, though, here’s the thing: these dilemmas are not actually about grappling with uncertainty; they’re about your fear of not being able to handle the consequences and possible outcomes. You see, your fear is not rooted in uncertainty itself or in making the wrong choice per se (there may not be a right or wrong choice to begin with): it’s rooted in your perceived (in)ability to navigate whatever comes your way.
How To Deal With Uncertainty
Building self-trust is the ultimate superpower for tackling uncertainty head-on. How do you do it?
Start by recognizing your own resilience, one step at a time. Recall all the times you’ve faced challenges and emerged stronger on the other side. You’ve done it before, and you can do it again. By grounding yourself in your values and bolstering your self-trust, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the uncertainties of expat life with confidence and resilience.
When heavy thoughts and questions keep swirling around in your mind, it’s also important to let them out by talking about them. Of course, you’ll feel inclined to seek guidance and support from family and friends. But you might find that they each have their own agenda and wishes for you, which may not make them objective advisors.
While your answer must be found within, sometimes, an outside perspective can shed light on aspects of the decision that you hadn’t considered.
Ultimately, trust your instincts and intuition to guide you in the right direction. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the “should I stay or should I go?” dilemma. What’s most important is that you make a decision that aligns with your values, aspirations, and vision for the future. And once you’ve made your choice, take a leap of faith and trust that it’s exactly what you needed to do. Don’t look back but forward, making the best of your new situation and circumstances, no matter what it takes!
What has been your biggest challenge abroad? How have you overcome it? I’d love to know – so connect with me on social media and share your story!
