Are you experiencing some Expat Fatigue these days?
You know the feeling, when you’ve lived in a place for a considerable time, the novelty has worn off and you feel like you’re in a rut, bored, lacking perspective and motivation, maybe even depressed.
Expat Fatigue can happen for myriad reasons, for instance because:
- your expectations of what life abroad would be like aren’t met
- you’re fed up with relocating so often and crave some stability and a fixed address
- you’re experiencing conflict with someone, for instance your spouse
- the local conditions, culture, people, cuisine, weather etc are starting to ‘get on your nerves’
Having phases of Expat Fatigue is completely normal when you live abroad. But you don’t have to stay stuck in this feeling.
Let me show you what you can do about it:
My 3 Step Plan to Overcome Expat Fatigue
Having worked with many women experiencing expat fatigue, I’ve come up with a 3-step plan that can help you deal with and overcome this condition:
STEP 1: CHANGE YOUR STATE
Have you ever wondered why – despite of all of the great advice, tools and hacks out there – people are still unable to make the changes necessary to create a fulfilled life?
It’s because your current state of mind doesn’t match the one necessary to adopt and implement these changes. Think about it: when you’re in a low state of mind, battling with fears, doubts, insecurities and the likes, it’s difficult to jump right to the part where you confidently, assertively and heroically solve the problem.
There are simply too many steps in between where your head and your feelings are at right now and where you want to be. And so this would require tremendous effort, which you probably don’t have the strength for when you’re experiencing expat fatigue and other unpleasant feelings. Therefore, changing your state is the pre-requisite to creating change.
Albert Einstein said “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” And the same goes for our feeling state. We cannot solve our problems as long as we’re feeling the same way that we did when we started experiencing this problem.
Some of my favorite ways to change my state are:
- Practicing Self-Compassion
getting into the regular habit of asking yourself what you’re feeling and accepting that; exploring what you would need right now to feel better, and trying to give that to yourself. - Gratitude
There’s always something to be grateful for, even on the grimmest of days. Feeling grateful is one of the most powerful and sustainable mood boosters! - Deep Breathing
A great way to calm your nervous system, effective immediately! There are countless breathing practices you can choose from. - Dancing
to a song you love, (possibly from your youth?) - Exercising or taking a walk in nature
and don’t forget those deep breaths! - Having a really good laugh
Laughing is scientifically proven to send happy signals to your brain and it’s a powerful de-stressor. If you need a little help, watch a funny movie!
Prefer to listen? Then check out the two podcast episodes I recorded about Expat Fatigue – Part 1 & Part 2
STEP 2: EXPAT FATIGUE QUICK FIXES
Quick fixes are like the bandaid to a wound: they may not cure what’s caused the bleeding but they can still stop it and protect you, so I believe they’re valuable tools.
This could include:
- Adding some variety to your life
by playing tourist in your new city and challenging yourself to visit sights, discover new gems, meet new people etc; by exploring the surroundings; by trying different restaurants or cook ‘exotic’ recipes at home; or by changing up your routine a little. What can you do to add some excitement to each day!?
- Making your home feel like home:
Your home should be a place of refuge, calm and safety; if you don’t feel well there, it can seriously add to the feeling of expat fatigue and unhappiness abroad. Even some small touches like buying fresh flowers, putting up photos of family and loved ones or creating a ‘happy place corner’ for yourself can make a difference!
- Look for (good) company:
This is so important, even more so for expat women abroad. As humans, we need other people in our lives – who could you reach out to for some company? Look for positive, uplifting and inspiring interactions!
And now finally let’s move on to the last step, which is basically tackling the issue at its root:
STEP 3: CREATE A LONG-TERM VISION
If you’re experiencing expat fatigue; if you don’t know how to go on with your life abroad; if you question what the point of your life there is or what will become of you…
… this is likely because you are not clear of or have lost sight of your long-term vision.
When your life is filled and ignited with meaning and you’re clear of your life’s purpose – then everything you experience will be like one puzzle piece of a beautiful, colourful and unique picture!
And when this is the case, you’ll notice is that you will:
- experience more joy in your day to day life
- feel guided along your journey
- be able to overcome (even overlook) obstacles in the short term thanks to that long-term vision, that perspective
- know what decisions to take, what choices to make (the ones most aligned with your vision)
We’re often told that we should ‘live in the moment’, but I think we can only do that if we have a long-term vision of who we want to be, what we want to achieve in life, and what impact we want to make.
Otherwise it’s easy to end up feeling lost, empty and scattered; to stumble into things, places, jobs and relationships that aren’t actually what we’re really all about.
Expat Partners often think in terms of assignments
If you’re an expat partner, it can be tempting to think of your life in terms of assignments. 3 years here, 4 years there… but what happens when you move away, or you go back home? Will you have to start all over again from scratch? Or will you be able to say that whatever you did while abroad was done consciously and is another puzzle piece of the big picture you want to create?
So let me reiterate this point: if you are experiencing expat fatigue, if you’re feeling lost and lacking meaning and joy: you’re likely simply unclear of your life’s big picture. And many of the problems you encounter are actually just symptoms of missing your long-term vision and purpose.
To get you started on your life’s big vision, I invite you to reflect on the following questions (preferably in writing):
- When I look back at my life at old age, what do I want to have achieved?
- How would I like to be remembered when I’m gone?
- What activities fill me with joy, passion and pride for being able to do them so well?
- What will my life’s story be?
Would you like help with Elevating your Expat Experience?
Then you’ve come to the right place! This has been my obsession and mission and I have many years of experience helping expat women achieve just that:
They’ve started businesses and projects, found the right jobs, written books, built communities and added more meaning and purpose to their lives abroad!
Book a complimentary 45-minute consultation here:
trust in your future abroad
