How to raise bilingual children successfully (according to the experts)

A few weeks ago I attended a conference on bilingualism, held by Kay Gonzalez, a renowned Linguistics Professor and Researcher. It was extremely interesting and insightful!
Being a parent to bilingual children and a multilingual individual myself, I’ve been compiling facts and advice on this topic through literature and conversations with professionals and parents in the field. In this blog post, I’m excited to be able to share my take-aways with you!

Defining ‘bilingual’

Two of the most commonly referred-to definitions for that term, that resonate with me are:

A bilingual person has a native like control of 2 languages.

(Leonhard Bloomfield)

A bilingual person has the practice of alternatively using two languages.

(Uriel Weinreich)

Forget about Grammar

Anyone who’s ever learnt a foreign language has definitely struggled with mastering the grammar. Well, according to the latest research, “grammar” does not exist from our brain’s viewpoint. Our brain processes a language by two means:
1) Merge (combining words)
2) Concord (evaluating if they’re a good match.)

Therefore, what we really need to do in order to speak another language is to learn the words (vocabulary) and its traits. For instance:
Word: go
Trait: I / you; + to
= I / you go to…

Linguists agree that the traditional lecture-style approach to teaching a language does not work, as the information we receive is processed by the brain’s central module but cannot pass through to the language center.
So, even though you might learn a language lecture style, it will result in lots of thinking, mental word by word translations and difficulties to engage in a flowing and fluent conversation.

How to learn a language effectively

To truly learn a language we need to expose ourselves to it, to live and breath in it, to experience it. There are two fundamental learning factors to be taken into account:

  1. INPUT: hearing the language as much as possible.
  2. OUTPUT: trying and learning to speak it (by trial and error)

Both elements are crucial, and if one is missing the language cannot be acquired on an advanced level.

In case you’re wondering: this is why watching TV in order to learn a second language doesn’t work (unless it’s used to reinforce a language your children are already exposed to in real life). TV only delivers input, and a passive one at that: we’re not required to respond at any time so the way we listen is different compared to the way we listen to a person in a conversation. The Output element is inexistent here, therefore a language cannot be acquired on an advanced level simply by watching TV.

Acquiring a native level

According to Kay Gonzalez a child learns a language on a native level when it’s exposed to it 25% of their waking time. For a child that would mean about 3 hours a day of full immersion in this language. In addition, the child should ideally be in contact with more than 3 native speakers of that language (to be exposed to various ways of speaking it and not limited by one person’s pronunciation or vocabulary). 

I found that a super interesting piece of information that clarified my personal doubt about raising children with more than 2 languages. Yes, of course it’s possible – but the question is how many hours a day and how many native speakers you have available to pass a language onto your child. For instance, if a grandmother sees the child twice a week for 2 hours and speaks in a different language – the child may become familiar with it, but definitely not reach a native level.

I also asked a burning question of mine, which is: “How important is it, that the child receives the input by a (near) native speaker?” To which Mr. Gonzalez confirmed what I was thinking: the way a language is transmitted to a child is the way it learns it, even if on a first language level.
He gave an example of a Spanish couple he knew who decided to speak to their child in (non-native) English only. The child grows up as a “native English speaker”, having been primarily exposed to this language in his home and with his primary care-givers; however, this “native English” features a Spanish accent and certain imperfections.

Stronger / weaker language

Despite being bilingual, many children will develop a stronger and a weaker language. In the first years, the language of the primary caregiver is usually the strong language in which the child commences to speak.
When children go to school, they’re very likely to adopt the language of their teachers and peers as their strong language.

Strong and weak languages can also vary over time; for instance, after spending a summer immersing themselves in their “weaker language”’s country and culture, they might come back seemingly having forgotten their “strong language”. (This is completely normal and doesn’t say anything about the command of their strong language, however, confirms a deeper understanding and command of their “weaker one”.)

Do’s & Don’ts for raising bilingual children

DO NOT:

  • Switch languages. One parent, one language. This is the recipe for success but sometimes overlooked. It’s okay for a parent to abandon their native language in a social context, however, the direct communication between parent and child should always be held in the same language (an exception here are multilingual children, where a parent wants to transmit two languages to a child)
  • Correct your child. This can make them feel insecure and frustrated about communicating in that language. A better approach is to respond to what the child was trying to say, subtly paraphrasing it or giving a more suitable alternative for an expression – without drawing attention to the error.
  • Force your child to speak in your language if it doesn’t want to, BUT continue to speak it to them anyway. Children and teens will go through phases and might reject your language (often, to fit in well with their peers – a completely normal part of their development) but they’ll eventually thank you for not giving up on their second language.
  • Create a negative connotation for a language (for instance: language A is only used when mommy’s mad)
  • Talk disrespectfully about their second language or culture (whether it’s your spouse’s or the school’s)

DO:

  • Foster relationships to family members who speak the language, contact them, tell stories, and if possible meet with them regularily.
  • Look for fun activities or friends to strengthen their second language.
  • Read and write in the “weaker language”: When your child goes to school it learns to read and write in the language of education; encourage them to practice reading and writing in their second language also (e.g. letters, e-mails or text messages to friends and family abroad…).
  • Transmit the language’s culture: languages open the doors to the cultures in which they’re spoken. Make sure your kids have access to your culture. Cook traditional food and have them help you, listen to music (ideally: that they’ll enjoy) in your native tongue. Take them to a cultural fare or exhibition by an artist from your native country…
  • Take trips to your home country so that your children can create real memories, connections and friendships there!

I hope you got lots of valuable information out of this article! Do you have any more tips for raising bilingual children? Please share them below in the comments!