Episode 17 - 3 Mistakes I Made in my Intercultural Relationship - Camilla Quintana

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Being in an intercultural relationship will inevitably lead to a few misunderstandings, confusions and clashes between you and your significant other.

This certainly has been my experience as well, and looking back, I realize a made a few mistakes in my relationship. In this episode I reflect on those and share suggestions of how they could have been handled in a better way so that you can avoid tapping into the same pitfalls!

Mistake #1: Discussing your relationship problems with your friends & family back home

They most probably not as familiar with your spouse’s culture and traditions, and they are obviously “Team You”. So this puts you at an unfair advantage where you’re likely to win all the sympathy points. (Also, let’s not forget that we naturally always tell our side of the story)

Find out what I suggest to do instead in the episode.

Mistake #2: Making it a cultural thing

Have you turned an argument between you and your partner into”cultural thing”?

That sounds something like this: “All of you (enter nationality) are so…….” Or: “(Enter country) is just so…..”

While there might be some truth to it, it’s not helpful to blow the problem up and make it about two countries, two cultures or two religions even. Our nationality is a trait we can’t change and if attacked – we’ll probably go into defence.

Mistake #3: Comparing the foreign-born spouse to local ones

I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of this and I know how unfair and suffocating it can feel when you’re measured by “foreign standards”. This, again, can make you get defensive and thus grow more distant to your significant other.

Remember, the differences between you and your partner are probably one of the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. We all have a choice about what to focus on – and focusing on the positive traits in our spouse will go a long way!

Speaking of cultural differences: if you want to make sure that you turn those into strengths, make sure to download