CAMILLA’S “COUNTER-THOUGHT EXERCISE”:
The mind hack that will change the way you think FOREVER
A couple years ago, back in Vienna, while I was swimming all by myself in the pool of my neighborhood, I came up with a little exercise. At first it was just a fun thing to do but soon I noticed how this little mind hack changed everything in my life: the way I interpreted things, the way I responded to things and how quickly I could get back on track after the “disturbances” we all face in life. I promise you that it will also change the way you think forever and thus, change your life!
But first, a piece of background information to better understand why this works.
A little science lesson: Neuroplasticity
Did you know that behind every pattern, every habit, every repeated action or thought is a neural pathway? It’s through these pathways that our cells communicate with each other. The more we repeat a certain behavior, these connections get stronger and stronger – it may even reach a point where an action becomes automatic (like brushing your teeth). The ability of our brain to create and strengthen neural connections, that is, its ability to adapt and change, is called Neuroplasticity.
“If you don’t control your mind, then everyone and everything else will” (Dr. Joe Dispenza)
Not only does this hold true for actions and habits but also for our thoughts and feelings. We all have certain “go-to emotions”, as well as repeated thought patterns. Oftentimes, we may think that a certain situation is simply happening to us over and over again (how unfair!!), but actually, in some way we are co-creating it. If you have formed a habit of responding with anger, your neural connections for “respond with anger” will effectively run on autopilot in your subconscious. Or maybe you are quick to judge yourself and others. Again, by repeatedly doing so your brain will look for things to criticise because that’s what’s familiar to it and what it thinks it’s supposed to do. A cycle evolves that may seem impossible to break (“I can’t help it, it’s just the way I am”).
Great news!
But the great news of neuroplasticity is that the negative patterns that were wired into our brains, can be re-wired or un-wired. Some neural pathways can be changed quite easily and others will require work and patience, as they will be deeply rooted within you, are complex, interconnected and attached to different areas of your life. But if you’re truly committed and take full responsibility, it IS possible.
The exercise I’m about to tell you about will seriously shake up some of those deeply ingrained neural pathways and at the same time form new ones.
So with that understanding, let’s jump right into
Camilla’s Counter-Thought Exercise
What is it?
- It’s a brain hack achieved through training, meaning that in order to get results you should give it your best shot and do it for at least a whole week, as many times per day as you can.
- It’s a powerful tool to grow more resourceful and more resilient. It will improve your reactions, interpretations and your problem-solving skills
- As you become used to doing it, you’ll notice that it will become automatic. It will forever change the way you think, react and interpret situations.
How it works:
Every day we make hundreds and hundreds of value judgements:
“I don’t like this”
“What is she wearing? Looks awful”
“I can’t believe he did that, only a bad person would”
“I guess it’s because I’m not pretty / smart / lovable / interesting etc enough”
“They just gave me a nasty look” etc
STEP 1:
become aware of the snap value judgements you make. Pay attention, I dare to say that you make them all the time, automatically, without even noticing it!
STEP 2:
think one opposite thought of the incident or person you’ve just judged (or if you prefer: evaluated). Ideally, it’s an honest one. But if you can’t come up with anything sincere, just think something – anything – with an opposite meaning:
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “I don’t like this”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “I’ll give it an honest shot and then decide whether I like it or not” or “But if I do this well, it will really help me in my career”
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “What is she wearing? Looks awful.”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “But she has beautiful hair” or “But look how lovingly her boyfriend hugs her. They must be very happy together”.
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “I can’t believe he just did that, only a bad person would”
COUNTER THOUGHT: “Although he did pick me up from the airport in the middle of the night yesterday. That was a nice thing to do” or “Maybe he really doesn’t realize how much it bothers me when he does that”.
SNAP JUDGEMENT: ““I guess it’s because I’m not pretty / smart / lovable / interesting etc enough”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “This wasn’t meant for me” or “Next time I’ll have more luck”
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “They just gave me that nasty look”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “They look very absent-minded.” Or “maybe they’re just talking about something serious (unrelated to you)”
Did you get the jest? I’m sure you can come up with more counter-thought possibilities for these examples – fire away!
Now before you make the next snap judgement, thinking that this exercise will just make you dumb by pretending that things are great when they’re actually awful, read on:
Golden Rules
- Nothing has meaning unless we give it to it. This can be an individual meaning or a cultural or region-wide accepted one. It doesn’t matter. Interpretations, judgements, meaning-making is never, ever “real” or “objective”. What you consider an absolute “no-go” might be acceptable to another person and vice versa. So let’s be open to this concept that whatever we think something means, even (!) our very own thoughts or emotions, we do not know that for sure. It just might as well mean something else.
- You don’t have to believe the Counter-Thought. This is extremely important! It’s an exercise, a training – with guaranteed results. But the training doesn’t consist of forcing yourself to believe something you don’t (that would be like being sad and crying and saying “I’m so happy, I’m so happy, I gotta be happy now!” -> not gonna work!) It simply requires you to think of different meanings something could have.
- Start small: Do this exercise with the many little things you judge or evaluate daily. You’ll gain practice and eventually will apply this (automatically) to bigger issues in your life. But for the sake of exercising, I’d recommend starting with minor things….. I suspect they’ll keep you busy anyway!
Why this works:
Thinking a different or opposite thought, explaining something in a different way – even if “just for the fun of it”, will make you more resourceful. Up until now, your brain didn’t really know how to do that and you were therefore depriving yourself of the possibility to see things differently. As you create this new habit and neural connection, your brain will automatically look for “other ways you could look at things”. You won’t even have to think about it anymore. All of a sudden, you will have such an array of explanations and interpretations to choose from – and you are free to choose whichever works for you. But it won’t be by fault. It won’t be a snap judgement anymore but a conscious and pondered choice you’ve made.
Think in “Lover Mode”
Remember the two mindsets I presented in my previous post, Judger and Lover Mode? By adopting the latter the Counter-Thought exercise will work better. When catching yourself judging, criticizing and complaining ask yourself the 4 paradigm shifting questions. They will help you to come up with new answers.
So that was everything you need to know about the Counter-Thought Exercise. I sincerely hope you’ll give it your best shot and that it will change your life as it did mine.
Let me know how it’s working out for you!
If you want to do some further reading on applied neuroplasticity, you might want to start by checking out any of the books or the blog of Dr. Joe Dispenza: https://drjoedispenza.net/blog
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