One thing many people struggle with when they move abroad is their perceived loss or change in identity. Even more so, when you relocate for your partner’s career and are referred to as “the wife of” and instead of asking about you, people want to know what your spouse does…
Have you ever asked yourself questions like “What am I doing here? What’s the point of my life here?”
Are you tired of having to make so many efforts: trying to adapt to different customs, speak a different language, meet new people, fill your days with things to do?
Do you secretly envy your friends back home for all the plans they get to do, that you’re no longer a part of; for building their careers while you had to put yours on hold; for their easy, safe and well-known life?
And have these thoughts crept into your daily life? Affecting your relationship. The way you show up as a mother. Your overall mood and energy level. Your outlook on the future.
You may call it Expat Fatigue. You may call it Boreout. You may call it being stuck in a rut. Whatever words you choose and identify with… bottomline is it sucks.
There’s lots of advice you’ve received, but it doesn’t seem to fix it.
And that’s because it only treats symptoms. Not the root cause of your problems. Not the origin of these unpleasant feelings.
Want to know what that is? Then make sure to listen to this episode of The Empowered Expat Wife Podcast.
January seems to be the typical month in which many of us battle with “Expat Fatigue”.
You know the feeling: it’s when you’ve lived in a place for a considerable time, the novelty has worn off and you just feel like you’re in a rut, you might feel bored, without perspective, maybe even depressed.
As I was outlining this episode, I realized I had to split this into different parts.
Because one thing I learnt during lockdown is that when you’re in a low state of mind, it’s difficult to jump right to the solution and leave all your troubles behind.
There are simply too many steps in between where your head and your feelings are right now and where you want to be. So this would require tremendous effort, which you probably don’t have the strength for right now if you’re battling with expat fatigue and all those unpleasant feelings.
That’s why in this first episode I’m gonna focus on positively changing your state of mind, improving your mood, raising your vibration.
I’m also gonna take you through a powerful energy cleansing technique, specifically designed to release blocks in your subconsciousness that negatively contribute to expat fatigue.
What does “raising your vibration” mean?
Everything in this world is made up of energy. Therefore everything has an energetic frequency, including our thoughts and feelings.
In this episode I refer to the work of Dr. David Hawkins who used muscle testings to associate an energetic frequency to our feelings.
Look at the chart below: can you identify on what energetic frequency you are calibrating most of the time?
Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness
Image Credits: https://mommyconvos.com
We all have an emotional home and so-called go-to-emotions that we’re wired to experience frequently.
When you’ve found yours, ask yourself how you can rise up one level? And today’s episode will help you achieve just that!
You’ll learn:
Why it’s important to improve your state of mind before tackling expat fatigue (and other adversities)
How self-compassion is crucial in raising your vibration
How your posture affects your emotional wellbeing
The one thing that helps me calibrate on a high frequency
What healthy habits you should adopt
Bonus: Subconscious Release Technique – a powerful energy cleansing exercise, which I’ve specifically designed for Expat Fatigue
Stay tuned for next week…
…where I’ll share some ‘quick fixes’ with you for snapping out of Expat Fatigue; but most importantly tell you what’s at the root of this unpleasant feeling and how you can overcome it once and for all.
(Episode 14 – Expat Fatigue, Part 2 will be released on Thursday 14 January)
Another year is coming to an end – and quite a strange one, we may say. 2020 has surely tested many of us; it hasn’t been an easy year and it left many feeling exhausted and drained.
So I understand that you may not feel as euphoric and motivated about a still uncertain 2021 or about making bold New Year’s Resolutions right now…
And yet: there’s such momentum about starting a new year – and I consider MOMENTUM a key ingredient to making positive changes in your life. Two other key ingredients being Clear INTENTIONS and Consistent ACTION.
Today’s Guest
For this special New Year’s episode I interviewed Sonya Sigler: a former expat, Business Strategy Consultant, Executive Leadership Coach, published author and triple boys’ mom.
Her focus lies on building confidence and helping women who feel stuck, uncertain, or frustrated break through the glass ceiling!
You’ll find out:
Some hacks to always be ready and confident for new opportunities
Why and how your should create a “requirements roadmap”
How to avoid decision fatigue
Why you should create a Vision Board
How to pursue your goals even though you’re not being supported
How to create your own support team
Remember: just as there’s always an excuse, there’s also always a possibility to pursue your goals and dreams.
The holidays are around the corner and while it may be the most wonderful time of the year, it can also be a time of added stress, conflict and – in the case of us expats – nostalgia, which makes us feel quite touchy and sensitive.
This episode is a little different, as I’m sharing my personal toolbox for navigating stressful times that bear conflict- and “burnout” potential!
Especially as an expat mom a great deal of the burden lies on us so it’s important to be prepared. After all, we all long for that holly jolly holiday time with our loves ones and feel bad when things don’t go as planned or when we can’t be at our best.
The answer?
D stands for Delegate
I know, I know. We all dream of the perfect holidays and would love to do it all:
Decorate the home beautifully, cook and bake the perfect Christmas menu, spend quality time with all our family members, always be in a good mood… (and look great and fresh all the time)! 🙂
But the truth is: life happens and gets in the way of our ambitious plans. Real life does not look like an influencer’s Instagram feed and as expat women and moms we know it can get messy!
So before the holidays start I want you to think about: What tasks can you delegate and outsource throughout the holidays? How? To whom?
And if you’re not sure, think about what tasks will take a lot of time and effort at the cost of your holiday spirit? And who could help you out with those?
A stands for Anticipate
Having too high expectations is often at the root of burning ourselves out, creating conflict with our loved ones and ending up disappointed.
So how can you set more realistic expectations and avoid stress and conflict?
By trying to anticipate what could mess up our holiday spirit, we can mentally prepare, plan to avoid these situations from happening or deal with them in a better way.
I came up with this concept back in March / April of 2020 when we had the hardcore lockdown here in Spain; the schools had closed but we weren’t allowed to leave the house. So between the kids, work and the home I was just swamped.
Everyone was talking about practicing self-care, but in really busy times this can actually sound more like another thing on your to-do list!
Of course, you can’t pour from an empty cup and over-giving and over-stepping your own boundaries will only lead to depletion and resentment.
Enter: Micro-Moments of Self-Care. They will literally just take a few minutes of your time and will grant you some relief, peace of mind, nurturing, unwinding and re-energizing.
In this episodes I share several strategies that will be a total game-changer for you!
I want you to see yourself like the captain of your ship. YOU steer the ship into the direction you want it to go. You steer it towards the calm waters and away from the icebergs. You’re in control of your ship.
How is this important?
Firstly, because of everything we mentioned already. A good captain knows what and how to delegate, she anticipates and she can remain calm and centered (thanks to micro-moments of self-care).
But this metaphor can also help you navigate uncomfortable questions and unpleasant conversations with loved ones we sometimes have during the holidays.
>>> Listen to the full episode to learn about the 4 conversation techniques I teach my clients to remain in control of the conversation and navigate uncomfortable and intrusive questions.
I sincerely hope this episode has been of value to you and I wish you a magical holiday season – wherever you’re spending them in the world!
*****
Christmas Gift Ideas for expat / multicultural families:
Some of my followers and Facebook Group Members have created great products for the expat community! While I have not personally read / purchased them all, it’s my pleasure to compile this list for you:
This week Im honoured to interview Lisa Mitchell on Financial Empowerment for expat and diplomatic spouses.
Lisa is an innovative Global Executive and Consultant with over 25 years’ experience in Sales, Marketing, and Business Development in the United States, Europe, and Asia. Lisa has held Senior Leadership roles in the Banking, Financial Services, and Global Education industries within Fortune 500 global organizations.
Leveraging her Living A Global Lifestyle Brand, Lisa uses her global experience and diverse skillset to curate content and craft workshops to provide the tools and resources for people to understand how to manage their finances and live successful lives abroad.
What you’ll learn in this episode
Why you should never fully rely on anyone else to be in charge of your financial security
The importance of pre-departure planning and having a worst case scenario exit strategy
Why you need to have the “Money Honey Conversation” (and what that entails)
How to become financially empowered even if you currently don’t have your own money
How to manage your assets and investments back home
Things to look out for regarding finances when living a global lifestyle
My key take-away from this episode:
If you don’t have a basic knowledge and understanding of finances you can’t ask the right questions. Education leads to Empowerment.
Did you know that the topic of “financial empowerment” is the reason I started The Empowered Expat Wife Podcast?
Seeing many women give up their career, their support system and everything they’d known to follow their husband abroad for work (or move to his country of residence); dedicating years to the family and the home (which we all know requires an extra effort abroad).
But then, finding themselves depending on their spouse fully and not having a financial back-up or retirement plan to fall back on.
Let’s be real: things can happen. We don’t like to talk about this of course, but have you thought of worst-case scenarios like separation / divorce, health problems, the inability to work, or God forbid death? If you were on your own tomorrow: could you and your children get by financially?
I’m by no means a financial expert but my interest in this topic has led me to read several books (listed below). So drawing on these authors’ expertise, let me ask you 6 questionsyou should be able to answer! (Listen to the full episode for further explanations, inspirations and details.)
1. Do you know about your family’s money situation?
Including: Investments, real estate, assets and liabilities, mortages, debt, monthly spending etc
2. Do you know what you spend each month?
Pull up a bank statement and take some time to go through the list. Ask yourself: – Did I really need this? – Does this expenditure make me feel light, expanded and happy? (or did you feel pressured into buying it and kind of regret it?) – Where am I overpaying?
3. Do you have a retirement account or emergency fund? How could you create one?
It’s not ideal to be financially fully dependent on anyone – not your partner, not his employer (or his ability to generate income), not your parents… You never know what life may bring and I’ve seen and heard of many women who couldn’t get out of very unpleasant situations because of financial reasons.
4. Do you have a consumer mindset or an investor mindset? (Tony Robbins)
A great question to ask yourself each time you’re about to spend money. Think long-term and remember: by saving only 10$ a day you can accumulate a nice some of money over the years, with little effort on your part.
5. What are your values around money, investments and finances?
– What would truly bring you joy? – What matters to YOU? – Is what you currently spend money on really in line with your personal values and financial goals?
Figuring this out will help you make better decisions around money.
6. How can you teach yourself about finances?
Apart from reading financial news and encouraging / participating in more conversations about finances, I’ve enjoyed reading the following books:
‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ by Robert Kiyosaki
‘Money. A Love Story’ by Kate Northrup
‘Get Rich Lucky Bitch’ and ‘Chillpreneur’ by Denise Duffield-Thomas
‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill
‘The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind’ by T. Harv Eker
‘Smart Women Finish Rich’ by David Bach
‘Master the Money Game’ by Tony Robbins
Do you have any tips, course or book recommendations around finances? Please share them with the community!
And if you enjoyed this content make sure to tune in next Thursday where I’ll be interviewing an expert on Expat Finances so that you can take inspired action towards your own financial empowerment!
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There was a time when crafting your CV was fun and exciting… but these days, all it does is give you a headache. A gap here and there. Relocations every few years. You can already hear that uncomfortable question you know you’ll be asked: “And what have YOU been doing there?”
The answer?
A million and one things! After all, being an expat or diplomatic wife and mom comes with a lot of responsibilities and equips us with countless skills… but can we put those on a CV? Explain to someone at a local Human Resources Department that taking care of a family’s paperwork in a foreign country and language can keep someone busy for weeks?
The result?
We feel ashamed of ourselves and our lack of professional accomplishments. If someone asks us what we do (which they often don’t) we stutter. And maybe, the idea of looking for a job moves further into the unknown future. There’s always a good excuse: small children; the lack of a support network; a limited timeframe in your host country; a global pandemic!
I get it.
It can really be intimidating and overwhelming to re-enter the workforce, especially with the kind of life we’re living. And I’m not saying that professional accomplishments are more important than personal ones, such as raising your children and supporting your family.
But if there’s an itch inside you to work, to grow and achieve… don’t postpone it. You CAN have your cake and eat it too! There are companies that offer flexible working hours or remote work opportunities. There are shorter-term or project-based employments that won’t require a long-term commitment. There’s the possibility to be transferred abroad or continue in a partner firm once you move again.
Most importantly, there is a need for people like YOU. You are awesome and you have a lot to offer. I know that, just because you’re here, reading this and listening to The Empowered Expat Podcast!
In today’s episode I’m interviewing Lucy Samuels, a US-based Career Coach and Professional Development Facilitator. Her specialty? Creating attractive CVs that will get you seen, heard and hired!
You’ll learn:
how to present gaps on your CV
how to sell your “unrelated work experience” to a potential employer
why you should always “but-out” and “don’t-just”
to tune in to what your potential employer is really looking for
Have you considered starting your own, portable business?
Maybe you’re dying to do it, and just haven’t had the momentum to start.
Maybe it’s something you’ve thought about before, but that seems kind of out of reach and it’s difficult to figure out where to even start.
Or maybe you’ve just never seen yourself as an entrepreneur. So you don’t even know what’s possible – it’s not something that crosses your mind.
Today I’m interviewing Business and Marketing Coach for Global Entrepreneurs and Founder of Tandem Nomads, Amel Derragui , about this topic.
A serial expat wife herself, she helps entrepreneurs across the world take their business to the next level, focus and simplify their processes with a strong vision and marketing strategies that fit to their resources and goals.
No matter where you stand at your entrepreneurial journey: you’re gonna love what she has to say!
‘But is entrepreneurship for me?’
Just to clarify any potential doubts upfront about whether this is for you, let me paraphrase Amel’s take on this:
You might essentially already be an “entrepreneur” without knowing it: Expat Wives and Moms are great at problem-solving, and that’s the main thing entrepreneurship is about!
The world has changed: back in the day, we thought of entrepreneurship and success in traditional terms; nowadays there are so many opportunities, both online and offline. Entrepreneurship looks different and can be perfectly combined with motherhood, relocations etc. The possibilities are endless!
If you don’t try, you’ll never know if you’re cut for entrepreneurship. There is no failure: this experience will enrich you with skills and professional experience that are interesting for a future employer, valuable for your next business idea, or simply something to add to your bucket list!
Listen to the full episode and find out:
About Amel’s journey towards a successful, portable entrepreneurship
Why YOU should start a portable business
What the Expat Wife’s Career Curse is
Amel’s “3 Cs” System to build a successful portable business
The 3 Yes-es you need before getting started
What pitfalls to avoid when it comes to starting your own, portable business
We wish you all the best for your journey of starting your own business and if we can help you in any way, count on us!
“What could I possibly do around here?” Have you asked yourself that questions after moving abroad? You’ve left your previous job, network and possibilities behind to start over in a new country.
You may have joined an expat community and fill your schedule with activities…. but you yearn for something more. Something meaningful. Something where you can make a difference and feel proud of yourself.
Or maybe, you’re feeling completely lost, after realizing that creating a truly fulfilling life in a new country isn’t easy. There are no clear steps to follow and you don’t even know where to start.
If this rings a bell, this episode is for you!
Today I’m interviewing Vilma Usaite, a certified Life & Career Coach. She works with fulfilment driven individuals seeking for direction and looking to strategically switch their careers. By merging the most effective coaching strategies together with her intuitive guidance, she’s helped clients all over the world discover their meaning and successfully change careers.
Vilma and I go way back: not only did we graduate from the same Coaching Academy and belong to the same Mastermind Group for Coaches; we also recorded “The Intentional Life Podcast” together throughout 2019 and have had countless inspiring, mind-stretching conversations over the years.
What you’ll learn:
How a move abroad can actually be a catalyst for finding your purpose in life
How Vilma’s self-auditing process can help you on your quest for purpose
What to do when you’re passionate about a lot of things or when you don’t really seem to have any clear interests / talents at all
How to transition into your new identity (even when it gets messy)
The one thing that stands in your way of finding your purpose
Remember: your interests and strengths are not accidental. You’re here for a reason. And it’s time you shared your gifts with the world!
This episode is full of nuggets of wisdom that will inspire you to find your purpose!
@ Copyright Camilla Quintana – The Empowered Expat Woman 2024. All rights reserved.
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