by Camilla Quintana | Dec 11, 2018 | Blog
5 powerful tools to make your new-year’s resolutions a reality!
As 2018 is coming to an end, you’re probably starting to think about your New Year’s Resolutions. Do certain goals pop up on your list year after year, but you just can’t seem to break the old habits? You might be missing one key ingredient on your way towards reaching your goals: adopting the right mindset and attitude.
In this post I’ll give you 5 powerful tools to go after your New Year’s Resolutions with PURPOSE, INTENTION and a POSITIVE ENERGY that will attract and align you with the positive outcomes you aspire – so that you may turn your unfulfilled dreams into reality!
“Our intention creates our reality” (Dr. Wayne Dyer)
We all have our share of bad habits and areas in our lives that we might label “under construction”. Maybe your relationship is rocky, your job’s a drag or you’re trying to drop some pounds?
When you continuously fail to improve the situation, you might conclude that you’ve simply chosen to pursue an impossible goal: your significant other is just too complicated, your incapable boss has given you all the wrong tasks at work and your metabolism is too slow.
So as a consequence, you might change your goals, or your partner, or your job, or your clothes. Some changes might be for the better, others for the worse, but let me ask you: whenever you’ve made such a change in the past, did you eventually end up experiencing the same or similar frustrations?
And in that case, what if the goal you’d chosen wasn’t the problem at all? What if it wasn’t so much about the faults, imperfections and distractions you’ve encountered outside, but rather about the attitude you’ve adopted on the inside? You see, we have little to no control over the first, but full control over the latter…
“Do everything in love” (Corinthians)
Let me ask you something, just hypothetically: What do you think would happen if you did everything as if you were in love with it?
Upon waking up, you’d give your partner a heartfelt kiss, made them coffee and handed it to them with a smile… then wishing them a good day and telling them how you can’t wait to see them again in the evening.
At work, you’d reflect on your strengths and about how you could best incorporate them in your daily tasks. Maybe you’d ask for help, maybe you’d offer help, and you’d look for new ways to make a contribution.
Trying to lose weight wouldn’t lead to such overwhelm as you focused more on treating your body with love, giving it nourishing, healthy foods instead of depriving and punishing it.
Now, as I said these were just hypothetical wonderings… But if only a part of you agreed, that a shift in your own attitude would most probably lead to a shift in your partner’s attitude, would make you find new joy and possibilities at work and help you to live life according to your priorities and values… then you’ve just opened a door to infinite new possibilities!
“So often, we wait for things to change and are unaware of the power we have to change them ourselves”
With the 5 power tools I’m about to present to you, you’ll be able to change the mindset with which you pursue your goals – so that your next New Year’s Resolutions may materialize once and for all!
POWER TOOL 1: Determine your “why”
Sometimes we fail to achieve a goal simply because it’s not important enough for us. It may be something we think we should do or something that others expect us to do, but deep down it’s not our real desire. Go through your list of New Year’s Resolutions and ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I want to achieve this? What’s my motivation behind it? Am I really willing to do what it takes to get this?
- How will achieving this make me feel? Feelings are our most powerful motivating forces. My mentor and teacher Tony Robbins goes as far as to say that all human behavior stems from either wanting to feel pleasure or avoid pain. Once you become clear on the emotions you’re hoping to have when reaching your goal, they’ll drive you towards experiencing them.
POWER TOOL 2: Create a purpose statement
Combine the answers of the two questions above and create a purpose statement for each goal:
“I want to achieve (enter: goal) because (enter: why) and in order to feel (enter: desired emotions).”
Whenever you’re about to go astray, remind yourself of your purpose statement. (That is, before making a nasty remark to your loved one, complaining to your co-workers about your job or taking a bite off that blueberry muffin 😉 ) Declare out loud: I want to… (purpose statement) and see if you’re still willing to jeopardize it.
POWER TOOL 3: Fake it until you make it
This statement may sound corny but there’s a lot of wisdom in it! By acting as if we had already reached a goal, we’re very likely to pave the way for it to happen and to attract that very thing into our lives.
Pick role models and emulate them: the happy and devoted wife/husband, the motivated employee or skilled leader, the person with a healthy lifestyle, the go-getter that gets things done… How do they behave? How do they think, speak, act and carry themselves? Watch and learn – you’ll receive valuable clues that will bring you much closer to your goals!
POWER TOOL 4: Change your gots to gets
I learnt this from Jim Kwik: whenever you’re about to say something like “I got to go to work”, “I got to fix some dinner for ______” or “I got to watch what I eat”… change the word got to get!
Yes, you get to go to work (hurray, you have a job!), you get to share a meal with your significant other, and you also get to buy and eat what best fuels your body! When you find that breaking your old habits gets tough, this little trick will immediately shift your mindset and get you into a more constructive, productive and effective state of mind.
POWER TOOL 5: Tune into Lover Mode
Remember that winner’s mindset I introduced in a previous post? Whenever you feel stuck or lost on the way towards reaching your goals, ask yourself the paradigm shifting questions: How else can I look at this? What can I do to make it better? What would be the best possible outcome? What would Love do?
This will immediately change your perspective and help you find new ways for achieving your goals, even more so if other people are involved.
“The way you do anything is the way you do everything”
… the saying goes. So give “doing things in love” a shot!
I know this is easier said than done and that you might feel resistance to this concept. After all, you might have already done and tried so many things and feel that the other person or situation doesn’t deserve any more of your efforts. But remember: You’re NOT doing this for someone or something else. You’re doing this first and foremost for yourself, so that you may have a happier and better life, reach the goals you set for yourself and continue to grow!
I can’t wait to hear what happens when you do…. Drop me a comment below and let me know 🙂
by Camilla Quintana | Dec 3, 2018 | Blog
CAMILLA’S “COUNTER-THOUGHT EXERCISE”:
The mind hack that will change the way you think FOREVER
A couple years ago, back in Vienna, while I was swimming all by myself in the pool of my neighborhood, I came up with a little exercise. At first it was just a fun thing to do but soon I noticed how this little mind hack changed everything in my life: the way I interpreted things, the way I responded to things and how quickly I could get back on track after the “disturbances” we all face in life. I promise you that it will also change the way you think forever and thus, change your life!
But first, a piece of background information to better understand why this works.
A little science lesson: Neuroplasticity
Did you know that behind every pattern, every habit, every repeated action or thought is a neural pathway? It’s through these pathways that our cells communicate with each other. The more we repeat a certain behavior, these connections get stronger and stronger – it may even reach a point where an action becomes automatic (like brushing your teeth). The ability of our brain to create and strengthen neural connections, that is, its ability to adapt and change, is called Neuroplasticity.
“If you don’t control your mind, then everyone and everything else will” (Dr. Joe Dispenza)
Not only does this hold true for actions and habits but also for our thoughts and feelings. We all have certain “go-to emotions”, as well as repeated thought patterns. Oftentimes, we may think that a certain situation is simply happening to us over and over again (how unfair!!), but actually, in some way we are co-creating it. If you have formed a habit of responding with anger, your neural connections for “respond with anger” will effectively run on autopilot in your subconscious. Or maybe you are quick to judge yourself and others. Again, by repeatedly doing so your brain will look for things to criticise because that’s what’s familiar to it and what it thinks it’s supposed to do. A cycle evolves that may seem impossible to break (“I can’t help it, it’s just the way I am”).
Great news!
But the great news of neuroplasticity is that the negative patterns that were wired into our brains, can be re-wired or un-wired. Some neural pathways can be changed quite easily and others will require work and patience, as they will be deeply rooted within you, are complex, interconnected and attached to different areas of your life. But if you’re truly committed and take full responsibility, it IS possible.
The exercise I’m about to tell you about will seriously shake up some of those deeply ingrained neural pathways and at the same time form new ones.
So with that understanding, let’s jump right into
Camilla’s Counter-Thought Exercise
What is it?
- It’s a brain hack achieved through training, meaning that in order to get results you should give it your best shot and do it for at least a whole week, as many times per day as you can.
- It’s a powerful tool to grow more resourceful and more resilient. It will improve your reactions, interpretations and your problem-solving skills
- As you become used to doing it, you’ll notice that it will become automatic. It will forever change the way you think, react and interpret situations.
How it works:
Every day we make hundreds and hundreds of value judgements:
“I don’t like this”
“What is she wearing? Looks awful”
“I can’t believe he did that, only a bad person would”
“I guess it’s because I’m not pretty / smart / lovable / interesting etc enough”
“They just gave me a nasty look” etc
STEP 1:
become aware of the snap value judgements you make. Pay attention, I dare to say that you make them all the time, automatically, without even noticing it!
STEP 2:
think one opposite thought of the incident or person you’ve just judged (or if you prefer: evaluated). Ideally, it’s an honest one. But if you can’t come up with anything sincere, just think something – anything – with an opposite meaning:
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “I don’t like this”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “I’ll give it an honest shot and then decide whether I like it or not” or “But if I do this well, it will really help me in my career”
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “What is she wearing? Looks awful.”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “But she has beautiful hair” or “But look how lovingly her boyfriend hugs her. They must be very happy together”.
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “I can’t believe he just did that, only a bad person would”
COUNTER THOUGHT: “Although he did pick me up from the airport in the middle of the night yesterday. That was a nice thing to do” or “Maybe he really doesn’t realize how much it bothers me when he does that”.
SNAP JUDGEMENT: ““I guess it’s because I’m not pretty / smart / lovable / interesting etc enough”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “This wasn’t meant for me” or “Next time I’ll have more luck”
SNAP JUDGEMENT: “They just gave me that nasty look”
COUNTER-THOUGHT: “They look very absent-minded.” Or “maybe they’re just talking about something serious (unrelated to you)”
Did you get the jest? I’m sure you can come up with more counter-thought possibilities for these examples – fire away!
Now before you make the next snap judgement, thinking that this exercise will just make you dumb by pretending that things are great when they’re actually awful, read on:
Golden Rules
- Nothing has meaning unless we give it to it. This can be an individual meaning or a cultural or region-wide accepted one. It doesn’t matter. Interpretations, judgements, meaning-making is never, ever “real” or “objective”. What you consider an absolute “no-go” might be acceptable to another person and vice versa. So let’s be open to this concept that whatever we think something means, even (!) our very own thoughts or emotions, we do not know that for sure. It just might as well mean something else.
- You don’t have to believe the Counter-Thought. This is extremely important! It’s an exercise, a training – with guaranteed results. But the training doesn’t consist of forcing yourself to believe something you don’t (that would be like being sad and crying and saying “I’m so happy, I’m so happy, I gotta be happy now!” -> not gonna work!) It simply requires you to think of different meanings something could have.
- Start small: Do this exercise with the many little things you judge or evaluate daily. You’ll gain practice and eventually will apply this (automatically) to bigger issues in your life. But for the sake of exercising, I’d recommend starting with minor things….. I suspect they’ll keep you busy anyway!
Why this works:
Thinking a different or opposite thought, explaining something in a different way – even if “just for the fun of it”, will make you more resourceful. Up until now, your brain didn’t really know how to do that and you were therefore depriving yourself of the possibility to see things differently. As you create this new habit and neural connection, your brain will automatically look for “other ways you could look at things”. You won’t even have to think about it anymore. All of a sudden, you will have such an array of explanations and interpretations to choose from – and you are free to choose whichever works for you. But it won’t be by fault. It won’t be a snap judgement anymore but a conscious and pondered choice you’ve made.
Think in “Lover Mode”
Remember the two mindsets I presented in my previous post, Judger and Lover Mode? By adopting the latter the Counter-Thought exercise will work better. When catching yourself judging, criticizing and complaining ask yourself the 4 paradigm shifting questions. They will help you to come up with new answers.
So that was everything you need to know about the Counter-Thought Exercise. I sincerely hope you’ll give it your best shot and that it will change your life as it did mine.
Let me know how it’s working out for you!
If you want to do some further reading on applied neuroplasticity, you might want to start by checking out any of the books or the blog of Dr. Joe Dispenza: https://drjoedispenza.net/blog
